Young Adult Blog

Bitterness or Joy? Do I Have a Choice?

Written by Johnathan Armstrong

Choosing joy or unhappiness, illustrated with a smiley face and a frowny faceCan we rise above our circumstances? How can we choose the way that leads to long-lasting happiness instead of misery, whatever life throws at us?

Martha Washington once said, “I’ve learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our disposition and not our circumstance.” What does this mean?

Life is not just what happens to us. More important is how we respond—what we choose to do. Even in difficult circumstances, we have a choice. We can choose bitterness and misery, or we can choose joy and happiness.

Choosing bitterness

Let’s first consider bitterness. Bitterness is not something that just happens. It is something that develops over time. Bitterness is an attitude that can accumulate from a lack of control over our emotions, such as pride. Satan is very good at planting and feeding seeds of bitterness.

If bitterness grows in us, we place ourselves in extreme danger. As bitterness grows, it leads to hatred, and hatred leads to murderous thoughts. The story of Jacob and Esau shows this very clearly. Esau’s blessing was taken by Jacob through trickery. As you would expect, Esau became upset by this. A seed of bitterness was planted and it grew. Esau came to hate his brother and sought to kill him.

We must not allow bitterness in our relationships. Ephesians 4:31 instructs us to “let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.” This includes our relationship with God. In fact, bitterness toward God is absolutely the worst situation. Bitterness leads to death. When we become bitter toward God without repentance, we choose to forfeit the promise of eternal life and will eventually cease to exist.

Our spiritual lives are too valuable to be thrown away for something we can prevent. So how do we prevent bitterness? We must choose to live with joy in our hearts.

Choosing joy

What is joy? When you think of joy, do you usually think of happiness? Is it possible to have joy without happiness? The word happiness is often used to mean the feeling of pleasure we have as a result of what is going on around us. Often, happiness and joy go hand in hand. However, there is a higher meaning to joy.

What is this higher meaning? Godly joy can be broken down into two parts. The first part is an attitude of mind. And the second includes the actions produced by that attitude. James 1:2 tells us to have joy even when we fall into trials. In 2 Corinthians 8:2 we learn that the churches of Macedonia, even though they had a serious trial of poverty, were not embittered because of what they lacked, but rather found great joy in reaching out to help others also in need.

Godly joy is not just a temporary feeling of pleasure; it is a deeply rooted sense of confidence, peace and hope based upon the assurances of God to His children. Godly joy is a way of looking at that big picture and seeing the happy ending.

Following the example of Christ

Strong, caring relationships contribute to our joy, and we must choose to act in ways that build our relationships. Relationships are guided by spiritual principles. When we follow those principles, we will have good relationships. When we don’t, bad things happen.

Paul encouraged the Philippians to fulfill his “joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind” (Philippians 2:2). The only way this is possible is if we all have the mind of Christ. Verse 5 states, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.” We should always look to the example of Jesus Christ.

Hebrews 12:1-2 tells us to lay aside “the sin which so easily ensnares us, … looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Christ did not give way to bitterness. Instead He had godly joy. He looked beyond the torture He was experiencing by looking to the future. It’s that same future we need to be looking forward to; that is our hope in the Kingdom of God. We cannot choose bitterness, but instead we must choose to seek and grow in the godly fruit of joy.

Johnathan Armstrong attends the Little Rock, Arkansas, congregation of the Church of God, a Worldwide Association, and is a graduate student working on his doctorate in physics.

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